So this is it,
The story that defines my life right now, and also explains my hasty decision to make and keep a blog.
It happens all the time, every single day… hell i have no doubt that it doesn’t happen every single mintue somewhere. There is a guy/girl who arrives on the scene, takes something that doesn’t belong to them and leaves with it.
What do they take?
A piece of your heart that the neither deserve or will care for.
Alright, let’s start this s**t out!
So there is this guy, for arguments sake and so i don’t seem like a total bloody wank we shall call him… The Illusionist.
So basically it happened like this, the illusionist, living very much up to his name made himself seem perfect. He embraced me with all that he was and had me practically begging for me. He was intoxicating and left me… still even now, breathless.
Time, they say is supposed to heal all things. So why in this situation did it only spoil it. I forgot, something as sweet as pie when left out in the sun too long tends to spoil. As did what we had together.
He was the kind of guy that had me skipping down the street, crossing my fingers when i told a lie, and believing in forever. He was the proverbial white knight riding to capture my heart and carry it to safety.
Or so i thought.
The Illusionist, so good at what he was, was actually nothing more then a retard in tin foil, waving around his plastic knife riding nothing but his ego and harsh words.
When is it ever ok to play with someone the way he chose to play with me? I’ll tell you when… never.
Because when you are back up against a fence the way that i was, there is really only one thing to do… fight back.
So teeth bared and claws out, i intend to do all that i can to get…
Haha… wait. I am getting ahead of myself.
So as i said, time doesnt always heal, sometimes it spoils. And it did. So here i was, trying desperately to make everything alright between us, especially when i knew that he was a little fussy with me because of the time we had been spending apart. I was going out of my way to be more talkative, i was planning ahead, hell i was even dreaming about the smuck.
And while i was highest on the smell of him, i went online to have a little IM satisfaction since there was little other way of talking to him. You see ‘fussy’ was a wrong term for him. At this time he has already escalated from ‘fussy’ and moved on to an intolerable ‘pissy’. (Replace the ‘i’ with a ‘u’ if you see fit. LOL)
So he had not returned my text messages, and although i felt as though i may have been bugging him, i went online. Normally i wouldnt have, but you see my feeling for him were strong and if i didnt at least try he would start up an argument telling me that i never try to talk to him and am never the first to text/IM or whatever. Dude… i am fucking busy, grow up.
so for the fourth time we argued… and this time he was just as mean as he was before. Trying to lash out at me with word that seemed to sting more then anything else. The only difference was, this time i wasnt a pawn to play into his games. I was tired, and sick… i was sick and tired of always being the one who had to defend herself, and even more annoyed with the way he could make me feel like shit and not see the wrong in all of it.
So this time i argued back…
I think this is the time where i should tell you that i had this vision of myself in my head. I used to sit back and think about the guy i would catch, and the way they would try harder then hard to catch me when the moment came and i turned my back to run away.
I felt like, if not anything else, i was at least the kind of girl that a guy would hesitate before so neglectfully disguarding without so much as a wince.
I had grown to feel that i was somewhat of a girl who was interesting, funny, and so casual about everything that i would draw them in. I was worth it… or so i thought.
He quickly told me otherwise before severing all ties between us, stating that i was unattactive and would come back…
And so i write this blog about the Illusionist, and the friends that will help me open my eyes and see the truth.