With tears in my eyes, i turn my face into the wind. Hoping with everything inside me that it will not only blow any trace of the tears from my face, but blow away this feeling of hopelessness… blow away the feelings and emotions that caused those tears to be there in the first place.
Unfortunately the pain inside me overrides the strength of the winds and all i am left with is more tears. More tears and the knowledge that my heartache will not disappear without a fight.
Too bad this is the only moment where there is not enough fight left in me.
I hurt more then i thought i would and am too weak of a person, to proud a person to lean on someone and ask them for the help i need to pull through. I think i can do everything on my own, and i can… most of the time. Except now.
I want to ask for help but it seems that the people who have told me they will always be there just said that to pass the time, and when i turned around in need they were gone. It’s hard to lean on someone when there is nobody there.
Im broken, and there is no one to fix me. Why? Because i am me i guess… what other reason could there be?
So with tears in my eyes, i turn my face into the wind. Hoping with everything inside me that it will not only blow any trace of the tears from my face, but blow away this feeling of hopelessness…
But that feeling of hopelessness not only remains, but strengthens. And with a heavy heart, i wrap my arms around myself and open my eyes. More tears fill them now then before, and i force a smile and walk away.
From everything but the pain.