Fingers That Have Been Itching to Write

Ugh, how i wish i could’ve controlled the days, as i would have made them pass more swiftly. My mind has been constantly racing, counteless thoughts about so many things and no creative outlet (i.e. My Blog) to let them all out. I can honestly say that these past months that i have been away from most internet connection and capability of touching the keys of a computer have driven me more then a bit mad.

YAY! BLOG TIME!!

Oh man, it has been so long i don’t even know where i would begin.

I guess my life has changed so much, and somehow still managed to pretty much stay the same. I have won battles, lost wars. Fallen down, gotten badly hurt, and then when i thought i was completely beat, still somehow managed to get up again. I have smelt the sweet smell of Ireland once more (even if only through a well traveled envelope) and had words said to me that have deeply touched my heart, and i have vowed to never forget.

Let’s see, i got into one of the biggest fights i have ever gotten into with my best friend Matt. Now i know a lot of you are shaking your head and whispering under your breath. You know the whole ‘What the hell else is new?’ and ‘Don’t these two buggers fight all the time?’ but seriously people… this was a doozie.

I mean it started so simple, as it always does. We have been friends forever so naturally we both know exactly how to push each others buttons. But one moment we were having a usual not serious argument, where we are arguing more because we are bored and fucking with each other as opposed to actually fighting, and then in the blink of an eye, he went from back burner to right on the flames. He was yelling, i was yelling, people were all crowding to look at us. Probably just as i was, they were wondering what the hell was going on.

I dont even remember what it was about any more, but he shoved me, i got mad and decked him and then ran off… typical girl reaction. Or at least it would have been if i had open hand slapped him instead of full out popping him one. It was soooo bad.

Someone actually came up and was asking me if i was ok. I’ve caused scenes before, but none so… television. If that makes sense to anyone but me. It was like a reality drama of some sort, only not because it was more genuine and there were no skanks or man whores involved. Haha.

Well aside from that, i have debated moving on several occasions. Went completely mental about the fact that there is in fact now a BLACK DISNEY PRINCESS!!! The day i;ve waited for has finally arrived! No more being Princess Jasmine or Pocahontas, lol.

Lets see, no broken bones or serious fights. The regular clumsy injuries that i always manage to get….

But i think my biggest thing right now, the thing that has somehow through some magical time warp or perhaps even entirely out of luck, i have stumbled upon something so bizarre, yet longed for. Weird, i never thought i would find myself standing where i am, somehow having what i thought was completely out of reach.

Happiness.

It came up when i least expected it, creeped up behind me and knocked me flat on my ass. People, just something you should all keep in mind: you should really keep your eyes and your mind open. Because if you dont catch it, that feel good feeling, you may miss it entirely. I almost did, luckily the butterflies in my stomach we fluttering around so anxiously hard inside that i would have had to be in a coma… or be in some other mind numbing state to have not seen it.

Yeah, i dont know. I think the stubborn Shaye that most people have known. The kind that was a little doubtful about happy endings and didnt think that clouds had any lining, let alone silver ones, may be… i dont want to say fading into the background. She is more or less evolving into something far more superb then what she had wanted to be. I dont know, i guess i will have to wait it out to know for sure.

Well, that can’t be the whole update. And sure enough it isnt, but i feel like i have to stop somwhere if i am ever going to stop at all.

So all in all… good times. Especially now that i can blog once again.

Huzzah!

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