Like everyone is moving around the world getting ahead and that much closer to where they wanna go and you are just struggling along. I can not count the times when one of my friend tells me just how easy it would be for them to be moving that much faster through their lives, moving so much closer to their goals with each step they take.
But as I have more time on my hands, my thoughts have begun to move ahead of me. Thinking about whether being on the fast track is as good a thing as so many people claim.
I think about how fast I fell for Kyle Stewart, and how quickly we moved through the steps at the start of our relationship. There was never an awkward date, never any courting. One day we were friends, texting each other our problems and the next day we were dating.
Well obviously not so much like that, but you get the idea.
We were on the fast track to dating, and before we knew it, a mere five months later we had moved in together and become an old couple.
Now as I sit alone throughout the days, I often wish that we had not taken the fast track to being together. I wish that we had that awkward first date that you see in the movies, I wish that we had dragged on that stage of our relationship far longer then we did.
I wish that we had been uncomfortable together at first, instead of just slipping into this state of comfort. It was as though we had always been together, and that we always would be. And I love that, but at the same time… did we move to fast.
Let’s go over things that are on the fast track. Shooting stars, comets, wild horses.
What is the same about all these things? Besides the fact that they are magnanimously filled with magic and beauty.
One second they are there, clear for all to see and admire. And then you close your eyes, just for a second and that is enough for it to completely disappear.
And that is the thing about moving on the fast track. You feel like you are so ahead of the game and you spend all your time celebrating getting ahead that you don’t notice that you’ve gone too far. And there is no more fire, no more burning bright, because it was there in a flash and now it is gone.
So my biggest fear is that I am moving on the fast track with the love of my life.
We are already at the point where we are just comfortable in each other’s presence. We don’t have to talk or be together. And what sucks most of all is that talking and being together is all I want fro him. I don’t think he realizes it.
He works all day and then when he comes home he just wants to be calm and relaxed. He doesn’t want to do the things that couples who have only been dating for five months do. It’s like instead of being together five months we have been together five years…
Sooner or later we will be getting a divorce before we even get married.
So the fast track… definitely bad.