I know that sometimes in my relationship with my boyfriend, we are out together and I say I want to get something and he feels obligated to get it for me. And I almost never want to let him get it, because I feel like he feels obligated to get things for me just because he loves me. And this in itself shouldn’t be the case.
If he does get me something, I want it to be because he wants to get it for me and not because he feels like his hands are tied and he fears the outcome if he doesn’t or some such nonsense.
So it brought up a thought in me, Are some people burdened by love?
It’s easy to get caught up in the whole feeling of love. It’s a feeling that seems to take over your whole body, some would even say soul, and manages to put you in a permanent state of Euphoria. It so splendid that you don’t take a single moment to think about how the man in the relationship feels. I know that when Kyle buys something for me, or treats me for something, I feel like I have to get it the next time or treat him. It’s like we are riding a relationship teeter totter and I don’t want him to be holding me up for too long, it’s only fair we take turns.
So I can just imagine the pressure that is on him all the time as the man of the relationship. The media seems to be up for equality but still portray the male in the relationship as the provider and the one who must constantly treat their significant other. A perfect example of this was a show I was watching the other day, a talk show where they spoke about ways to get back in your lover’s good graces after a fight. Everything the men had to do included gifts, and all the women had to do was put up sex and fulfil a sexual fantasy.
Way to throw equality out the window and throw us back into the 60s people, well done.
I don’t think it should work that way. When Kyle and I first got together, I was constantly looking for things I could get him, things he would like for absolutely no occasion.
I liked to treat him, and I didn’t expect anything in return… just his love.
So when did we take a turn where it seems like everything we do is a barter, and we are mentally keeping tabs to figure out who’s turn it is to treat the other.
I hate to say it, but as time passes most people in relationships become very much like a bank. Where we are trading, taking loans, and clearly becoming burdened by the expenses of each other.