When I was little, I knew little of the past. I knew not of the things I could not change. All I knew was that the pain was still there, and that there was little chance it could be past if the feelings were so fresh in my chest. Now I know that what happened yesterday is past, and there is nothing I can do to change the happenings of yesterday, all I can do is try my best to make today better.
My yesterday may have been filled with heartache, it may have been filled with misery, and wore me down beyond recognition. But once I go to sleep it is through, when my eyes open again I must shake my head to rid my mind of the memories and move through it. I mustn’t let the pain of my yesterday cloud my emotions and views of the day ahead. Because Today is all I have, and I may not get a Tomorrow to try again. So I must hold my head high and say goodbye to my Yesterday.
Today is a gift that I am given often, but I mustn’t let it cloud my judgment. I mustn’t let myself take advantage of a gift so great. Because a gift is not a promise, and a gift given Today may be one that I will not get tomorrow. I will not let the struggles of Today weigh on my soul, because Today may be all I have, the one chance I get to make sure that my life is better because of this one day that I had before I didn’t have another.
I hold a tender hand to my chest and thank God for all he has given me today. Even if it is hard, I got through it in one piece and the people in my life, the friends I hold close, the new ones I will make, a lover so dear… I have them today and I will try and make it seem as though they are worth the finest gold to me. Because I may not get a chance to tell them tomorrow.
Who even knows if it will come for sure? I try hard not to think of tomorrow, not to plan for my future. Think of the house I will move into with my husband, the children that will fill it, that laughter, and the smile… and sometimes, tears. I will not think of Tomorrow as a chance to fix my Yesterday, but as another day that I can be thankful for all I have Today.
Yesterday I loved him. I loved him with so much of me that with each beat my heart seemed to cry out with pain. For it was too much for it to bear, and it was frightening to love someone so completely.
Today I love him more then Yesterday. For it is another day that I have him, another day full of love and laughter, full of soft kisses and warm embraces. Happy thoughts of having him for an eternity further. Today my heart is more full then it was yesterday, and I am even more fearful. But I love him through it, because all I am promised is today. And it pains me to know there is no way I can spend every beating second with him, for each second, each heartbeat could be the last one I have, and I can spend that heartbeat away from him, never to see or feel his love again!
Tomorrow I will love him more, want him more, and wish for more time. More Yesterdays to fill up the memories of Today, more Todays to look back on Yesterdays and long for yet another Tomorrow. And more Tomorrows so that my love can grow and I can love him that much more then Yesterday, that much more then Today.
This is my Yesterday, my Today, and my Tomorrow… filled with love and hope. Filled with him…