With a heavy heart you look at the one you love. Everything inside you tells you that you need to walk away, that you need to give each other time to grow into something different, something better. But you grind in your feet and you stay, you look at them and your heart breaks, because you know you should go, you should leave them.
It’s for the best.
How do you do it? When everything you have ever wanted, everything you’ve ever been no longer matters if it is not with them. You become consumed with them and the world as you know it disappears because now, they are your world. You are drunk off them, an addict and without them, the withdrawal you will fall into will be far too much for you to live through.
He is the air you breath, the sight and tastes of everything in the world.
A single step has you pausing, faltering.
Every step you take away from him is nothing more then a step in the wrong direction, there is nothing for you outside of his love, nothing in this world.
But as you sit there, and you look at him, your heart breaks.
The love you have is too much, so intense that it consumes you and leaves you both drowning. How can a love so strong be so destructive? You are both on a plane without a pilot and if you don’t jump now, you will both perish.
I’d give him my parachute, I would stay on this plane, watch him leave if I could. I would give him everything.
And so here we are, consumed, drowning.
A love too strong for either of us to survive, yet we battle on, determined that this world we have created for the pair of us must survive or we will perish together. What I am is nothing without him, what i’d give to keep him; everything. We fight each other, fight for everything because our love robs the words of sanity from our mouths and all that is left is the argument that this has to be right.
Is it madness? Madness that consumes us, brings a girl who was made of stone to life only to drop her to her knees and drown her in her own tears? The tears for a man she loved first, will love forever and will die beside. Madness that stirs her to lay awake wishing him away yet pulling him closer.
Who was to know that love would be so complicated? Who would have warned her, cautioned her before she jumped off a ledge she couldn’t jump back onto?
To see where she is now, pushing while he is pulling, falling when he is trying to lift her, they are the destruction of one another, living in the chaos that has come from a love too strong. The world around them crumbles and they fight each other, together in the chaos they created. Her eyes in the sky, looking down, would she see what she would become in the arms of love and still take this path?
How could she not?
As the world is ending, their love crumbling it to pieces, too strong for the world to hold, to harbour, they cut and stab at each other with sharp words meant to push each other away, meant to keep this world together if they can push themselves apart. But they both know better. Eyes flaming red, they pull each other apart in the madness of it all.
They are the only ones that can hurt each other, and they do, the pain the feel more exhilarating then anything else anyone else could give them, and they lay in the mangled mess, little pieces of what they used to be, worn out and tired. Yet somehow they are both whole.
In the rubble, they reach out and take each other’s hands, a look of love in their eyes.
They had broken each other, beaten each other down until there was nothing left. As they rain fell around them, the water running red beneath them they reached out for each other.
He knew her better then she knew herself, as she knew him. They fought more then they loved and they left each other far too damaged for anyone else to repair. On the outside they looked like two people driven completely mad, insane to stay in a relationship that drained them more then it filled them up. But from the ground where they lay, they knew better. What more to life was there then this madness?
In the rain they stayed, holding onto each other until they both started to drift away. Away, but still together.
Embracing in the madness of love.