The Price You Pay

Everything has a cost, every person pays a price.

She looks at the one she loves and wishes everything in life could be this free, this everlasting. Fooled by the loud monologue of her heart, she couldn’t hear the harsh whispers of reality. She couldn’t hear as it calculated, adding up everything she took, every smile she spend, every quickened beat of her heart.

Who raised this fool? The one who didn’t know or never learned that nothing is ever free. No one ever really does anything ‘just because‘ and behind every well placed good gesture is a promise that it will all be paid back in time, and in full.

He loves her.

Deeply and truly. He loves that she cares for him, that she tends to his needs and always keeps her promises. He loves that she always wakes before him, even when he has an early day so that she can set the coffee maker and push down the toast. He loves that even though she takes the bus, she will detour out of her way if ever he needs anything. He loves that her every thought through the day, unintentionally, is for him.

She gives him everything, and she asks for nothing.

He hears the loud monologue of his heart as it tells him he will never do better, as it tells him the story of forever, and reminds him how much her love is worth even though she asks for nothing. He doesn’t hear the harsh whispers of reality telling him that she is giving too much and receiving too little in return. It doesn’t warn him of the whispers that will all too soon become loud enough for her to hear, as they tell her what this love is costing her.

It must have been something they learned, a lesson from this world. They were once on the path of becoming wise, before love wrapped them in a blanket of foolishness.

He never keeps her in mind, he feels that after all this time and all her coddling, she is far too independent.

She keeps him in mind too often, scarcely thinking of herself.

He loves her because of all she does, she loves him despite the things he doesn’t bring himself to do. Two fools un-realizing of the tab they are running with their love, unaware of the payment that is long overdue.

They sit in silence. She is sitting there wondering when he will do something for her instead of sitting by and watching her struggle. He is wondering why she can’t ever accept help.

The space between them get thick as the monologues from deep inside their hearts suddenly silence and the harsh whispers rise to the surface.

He doesn’t care for you,’ They tell her. ‘Maybe he never really did.’

‘She’s so moody, one moment she seems to content and the next she is sullen and quiet. She asks too much of me.’ It whispers to him, it’s voice rising to a yell as they look over through the loud space between them and their eyes met.

She has given him so much of her life, it’s scary to walk away now.

He has wasted so much time, in lust he had mistaken for something else.

What an expensive mistake they both have made, as they sit in silence wringing their hands together through the anxiousness, realizing it’s time they paid the price for those unbothered years of happiness, that frozen moments of pure love, the best things they thought were free.

The price, they realize, was one way too high.

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